no one ever likes me as much as i like them
I wish it was that easy.
The days I feel completely worthless and completely broken, I’m reminded of the day HE saved my life. Everything else becomes silly details..
This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
I did it guys. I did it. I spoke up.
I feel free.
I am frustrated with my sin
my lack of restraint, my apathy towards the thorn in my flesh
the fact that a part of me longs for ignorance above the Truth
Lord I pray that you deliver me not just from evil
but from myself
when my mom was pregnant with me my sister decided she didn’t want another sibling so one day she took my brother’s toy cars and lined them by my mom’s room’s doorway and tried making my mom fall on her stomach
my sister tried killing me in the womb
Sad but fab.